


What Happens in Vegas... Hits the Media

by orphan_account



Category: Glee
Genre: Childhood Friends, Drunken Shenanigans, Famous Kurt, M/M, Model Sebastian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-25 12:42:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3810817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: “kurtbastian!childhood friends - they marry each other while drunk”. </p>
<p>Kurt’s a singer, slowly making a name for himself in the business, and his best friend Sebastian is a model. Of course neither of them have any sort of privacy, so what happens in Vegas gets halfway around the world in a matter of hours.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Happens in Vegas... Hits the Media

**Author's Note:**

> Inspiration from Husbands (great show btw). Written at 2 AM, un-beta’d so m’apologies but I hope you enjoy it either way. Also I’m bad at titles sry.

“Kurt? Ah, shit… Kurt?!” 

Sebastian’s voice echoes off the bathroom walls and Kurt groans, his head throbbing, mouth thick and dry. He blinks, meeting Sebastian’s concern-filled green eyes, and tries to force himself into a sitting position. His body aches, hand slipping on what he realizes is the wall of an obnoxiously large bathtub and causing him to fall back against the wall of the tub. 

“Oh my god,” he groans, wincing as his own voice makes his headache worse. Sebastian reaches a hand out, helping Kurt stand up and step out of the tub, holding onto his waist to keep the other man steady. “What the hell…?” He quickly becomes very aware of his lack of pants and shirt messily buttoned and barely fitting, and soon realizes this isn’t actually his shirt, he would _never_ own a shirt such a disgusting shade of green. 

“Shit, I’m glad you’re, like… alive and here, man,” Sebastian follows Kurt across the room, slowly, making sure he doesn’t topple over like he very much looks like he wants to. “I was afraid that we might have a _Hangover_ type situation.” He laughs a little at that, only furthering Kurt’s suffering from his terrible hangover. Kurt stops in front of the mirror, taking in his reflection, dark circles under his eyes and… God, he looks _rough_. His purple tie is wrapped around his forehead and he reaches up to slip it off, relieving some of the pressure and making his headache just that much more bearable. Sebastian continues to laugh, probably at some terrible inner-joke that Kurt’s actually appreciative he isn’t sharing, but either way his laughter is edging on _just_ too loud and Kurt reaches his hand back to smack his friend’s chest.

“Hush and find me some damn Advil,” he orders, turning on the cold water and splashing some over his face. Sebastian nods, following his orders and leaving Kurt alone in the bathroom to rummage through their luggage. Kurt returns his attention to his reflection, running a hand over his face and groaning. “Dammit, Hummel… You’re supposed to be a fashion icon, but you are a damn mess…” He glances back down at the shirt, which must be Sebastian’s considering the slightly too-big fit and the hideous color, and starts to undo the buttons. He catches a glint in the mirror, curiously looking back down at his hands to find a… _oh shit_. 

“Oh, _shit_ ,” Sebastian’s voice echoes his thoughts. “Kurt?” 

Shirt hanging open and hangover forgotten for the moment, Kurt rushes out into the bedroom to find Sebastian staring down a silver band on his left hand, bottle of Advil in the other. 

“Do you remember last night? Because I don’t remember last night, I’m actually pretty sure I’m still a little drunk, but, um… did I…?” Sebastian looks up at him, eyebrow quirked, and catches Kurt looking down at the matching silver band on his own hand. “Did… we…?” 

Kurt looks up at him in stunned silence, shaking his head slowly. “No… No way, I- I didn’t just drunk-marry my best friend on the night of my other best friend’s bachelorette party. That’s so tacky! I’m Kurt Hummel, I don’t do tacky.” 

Sebastian blinks, looks back down at his ring, then back to Kurt, smile stretching over his face. “Oh, wow… I’m married to a hot singer! Oh my God, we could totally be a power couple! Like, NPH and Burtka 2.0 or something.” 

“Sebastian! We’re not— we’re not married!” Kurt runs a hand through his hair, which is hopelessly destroyed after a night of… well, who really knows what the hell they did last night. Well, obviously one thing did happen, he drunk-married his best friend in Vegas. But are Vegas weddings _really_ real? They can’t be, Sebastian’s his… well, his _best friend_. That’s all, they’ve been friends since they were little, like, ten years old. He still remembers Sebastian spending the night when they were eleven and wetting himself, ruining Kurt’s favorite sleeping bag. They’ve been nearly inseparable since they met and Sebastian, while a completely ass at times, was the one person Kurt trusted the most, and… well, people definitely saw this coming but probably in a much more thought out, extravagantly planned way. 

“I beg to differ, babe.” Sebastian holds his hand up, wiggling his ring finger and smirking. 

“Don’t call me ‘babe’, I’m not your ‘babe’, I am not _anyone_ ’s ‘babe’.” Kurt’s pretty sure he’s started pulling hair out by the time he makes it to the edge of the bed, sitting down with his head in his hands. “ _Fuck_ , what… we… this isn’t real, right? Th-there has to be a certificate for it to be official, we definitely don’t have one of those, right?” 

 “Um, does a marriage certificate look like this?” Sebastian picks up a crumpled piece of paper from the dresser, holding it up to show Kurt. Beneath a wine stain are the words ‘Marriage License’, their names scrawled along the bottom. _Shit_. Kurt takes a deep breath, sitting back and staring at the ceiling. 

“I just released my first album, I was just starting to make a name for myself, and I went and did _this._ I can’t believe I married _you_.” Kurt sighs, laying back on the bed and pressing the heels of his hands against his eyes. Sebastian pouts, moving closer to the bed and leaning his knees against the edge, arms crossed over his bare chest. 

“What’s wrong with marrying me?” He grumps, furrowing his brows and looming over Kurt. Kurt sighs, throwing his hands down and shaking his head again. 

“I-I didn’t mean it like that, I just… I can’t believe I _married_ you.” He sits up, looking at Sebastian seriously. “I mean, I’m sure you’d make a great husband to someone, but… not _me_ , not like _this._ You're my best friend, you’re supposed to be the best man at my wedding, not the _groom_.” 

“Obviously intoxicated you had a different plan,” Sebastian flashes the ring again and Kurt pushes his hand down. 

“Yes, I was _intoxicated_. I was _so drunk_ , which means we could… we could get an annulment pretty easily, right? This happens in Vegas all the time. We’ll just… find someone, get this marriage annulled, and it’ll be like none of this ever happened!” Kurt digs around in the blankets, Sebastian watches him, still pouting. Kurt pulls his phone out from under a pillow with a triumphant sound, his face falling as soon as he unlocks it. 

 “What’s wrong?” Sebastian asks, sinking onto the bed next to Kurt and looking at the phone screen over his shoulder. 

“We’re all over the news,” Kurt murmurs. “Of course we’re all over the news, _dammit_.” 

Kurt tosses his phone, falling back onto the bed and burying his face in a pillow. Sebastian scoops up the device, eyes scanning over the page. “‘Kurt Hummel Singing A New Note To New Model Hubby, Sebastian Smythe’.” Sebastian puts a hand over his heart, cooing. “Aww, that’s kind of cute. ‘The newlyweds were spotted exiting the Vegas chapel together’. Oh… oh, god, Paps always get the worst pictur—”

Sebastian’s sentence is cut short when a pillow hits him sharply in the back of the head. He rubs his head, turning to glare at Kurt. “Why are you freaking out so much?” Kurt gives him a bewildered expression, pushing himself to his knees and facing the other man— his _husband_.  

“What do you _mean_? We just got _married_ , why are you so _calm_?” Kurt wraps the heinous shirt tighter around his body, feeling too exposed, too vulnerable. “We’re all over the news, everyone knows, so we can’t just… take it back or pretend it didn’t happen. I’m still trying to make a name for myself, if everyone finds out that I just got drunkenly married to a model… what does that say about me?” 

“Then we don’t take it back, easy.” Sebastian shrugs and Kurt’s eyes widen, jaw dropping. _How_ is Sebastian being so nonchalant about this whole thing? _How_ is he not freaking out? 

“What do you mean? Sebastian, this is— we’re— of _course_ we have to take it back. We can’t just stay married!” Kurt’s voice continues to rise, his headache starting to creep back up. He climbs off the bed, taking the Advil from Sebastian and getting himself a glass of water. Sebastian stays on the bed, starting to fold some of their clothes and put them back in their suitcases. 

“Why can’t we?” He asks, placing one of Kurt’s more casual shirts off to the side for him to wear once he finally takes off Sebastian’s. Kurt pops his head out of the bathroom, that bewildered expression becoming a permanent fixture on his face. 

“Because, Sebastian, this isn’t… We’re not even _dating_ or anything,” Kurt starts. Sebastian cuts him off with a long ‘ehhh’. 

“Are we?” He asks. “I mean, you do always make me watch chick-flicks with you and cuddle, and I was your date to some party for work or whatever.” 

“That’s because we’re _friends_ , Sebastian. I do the same stuff with _Rachel_ and I definitely wouldn’t want to be married to her.” Kurt rolls his eyes, going back into the bathroom to brush his teeth because he is pretty sure something actually did die in his mouth. 

“Look, all I’m saying is… maybe this isn’t as bad as you’re thinking.” Sebastian says, pushing himself from the bed and leaning against the door frame. He locks eyes with Kurt in the mirror, crossing his arms over his chest. “I mean, no, the situation definitely isn’t ideal—”

“Ya thin’?” Kurt growls through a mouth full of toothpaste, leaning over and rinsing his brush and mouth. “But we can’t do anything about it, if we get an annulment we’re… we’re pulling a Britney. We will _literally_ be ruining the sanctity of marriage, and not just for the usual reasons people would throw at us. It’s not even been 24 hours! I… I think.” He rubs his forehead. “God, what are we going to do?” 

Sebastian steps forward, locking eyes with Kurt in the mirror and putting a calming hand on his shoulder. “Shh, hey… You know what we’re going to do?” Kurt barely shakes his head, hands clutching the edges of the sink at this point, though he feels himself begin to calm under the Sebastian’s touch. “We’re going to figure this out, together. Just calm down. I may not be your ideal husband, but I’m still your best friend, and I promise to help you through this mess just as much as I help you through every other mess I get you into.” 

Kurt turns around, giving Sebastian a small smile before falling into the other man’s welcoming embrace. Sebastian hooks his chin over Kurt’s shoulder, smiling to himself as he softly continues, “If it helps, I don’t mind being married to you.” 

“You’re still buzzed, aren’t you?” Kurt murmurs into Sebastian’s shoulder. 

“Maybe a little…” Sebastian admits. “But, I’m sure I’d still mean it totally sober, too. Promise.” 

“I guess we’ll see once you sober up,” Kurt laughs. Although he’s not sure Sebastian will still be totally okay with it, he appreciates the odd-calm-ness Sebastian’s had through this entire episode and he realizes that’s exactly why they’re friends. Despite Sebastian’s undeniable ability to be the world’s biggest ass, he’s always there to keep Kurt grounded and calm in any situation. Even a drunken Vegas marriage. 


End file.
